So to continue on in this super frustrating journey…

 

We found out that not only do I have that gene mutation but both of them. All that really means is I have low homocysteine in my blood and very low levels of folate. Not so terrible considering to keep the symptoms low all I have to do is take a complex b-12 folate supplement. So, that’s it? All of these years and symptoms can be managed with something as simple as a supplement? I still take my thyroid medication but all of the anxiety and depression and mood swings are all better. I would say they are gone but I would be lying. I’m a woman. I get worried, I get sad and emotional, and I can’t always decide exactly how I feel. But, that’s NORMAL. I didn’t feel like I was a bipolar psychopath anymore and it was awesome!

One thing we couldn’t figure out though was my menstrual cycle and my levels of estrogen and progesterone, which contributes as all women know to the mood swings. We do know that MTHFR doesn’t allow toxins to exit your liver (hello liver cleanse supplements) and that could contribute to why my body stopped producing it but we don’t really know for sure. So, I am basically experiencing menopause at 26 years old because of the lack of estrogen and progesterone being made in my body. COOL BRO. That’s exactly what I wanted to hear. But it did make sense. It makes sense as to why I am constantly hot and sweat easily. It makes sense why I get migraines. It makes sense why I have no menstrual cycle. Not being able to sleep and being forgetful. While it was nice to finally have answers about WHAT was wrong… It was super annoying not knowing WHY. It is still super annoying not knowing why and also not knowing what in the world to do to FIX it. I had never dreamed in a million years that I would ever be praying to have a monthly period. But here I am, 26 years old, wondering when it will ever come back. So far we have tried months of cycling progesterone and estrogen and different supplements that are supposed to help women with this and once again we are finding no answers.

I will be quite honest. I want to have more children. I am frustrated. I am frustrated because at one point it was so simple for me to get pregnant. I literally was not even trying. Although I wasn’t trying not to get pregnant either. Remember I was 18 and right out of high school in an abusive relationship. But  now that I am happily married and actually want to start a family in the RIGHT god-honoring way, it seems that it is going to be such a battle. It seems as if it could be impossible. And even if it is impossible it LOOKS like it is going to be an all out war. My doctor gave me a referral to an infertility specialist and even that is looking very grim. It’s $250 without insurance just to SEE the doctor for your first appointment. And with the medi-share that I use, they only cover infertility if it is deemed medically necessary. GOOD NEWS! Because I have no menstrual cycle, I can qualify. Bad news? The doctor I was referred to is not a provider with medi-share.

 

So that leaves me once again waiting for answers. It leaves me with several roads and a lot of questions. It leaves me frustrated. It leaves me vulnerable.

But If one thing has proven true in my life so far and in this health journey it is that God knows the answers and He will lead me to them as I keep seeking him. I may not get the answer when I want it or get the answer I expect or believe is best but I will get the RIGHT answer at the RIGHT time.

For now I must keep asking for him to guide me into HIS will and HIS best for my health and for the future of our family.

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