I recently decided to start reading a book called “A Wife After God’s Own Heart” because let’s face it marriage isn’t easy. I love my husband so I want to improve on anything I can to show him that I love him.
One thing I have taken away from this book so far is how important it is to know the different roles we both play in our marriage.
This can be a little hard to swallow at times so bear with me! If we look biblically (which is what she does in the book) at the roles God has placed on us as wives we can see that we are supposed to help our husbands. We need to love him, and often times that is shown best by giving him respect. We are called to follow his lead, which also helps in the respect area! As well as we need to show him how much we appreciate his efforts in all that he does for us.
Sometimes it’s really hard to do all of those things, and do them well. I myself sometimes feel like I am doing really well at one or all of them only to find out from my husband he isn’t feeling that way at all! I know how frustrating that can be!
I do my best to praise him publicly and brag on social media about him, but then I disrespect him in front of our peers. Or I feel like I am helping out a lot around the house with chores, but completely forget to have his breakfast ready. I’ll be NAILING it by appreciating all of the hard work he puts in and then totally ruin it by complaining about some other small thing that didn’t quite meet my expectations.
These are not things that he points out to me regularly but they do come up, and they should! I want him to let me know when I have made him feel less than what he deserves from me. It’s painful to know you don’t meet the mark every time, but it is humbling and you have to know these things in order to grow and for your marriage to be full of richness.
She gives a few practical steps in how to be intentional on learning how to really live in our Godly roles as wives. They are actually very simple:
_Thank him for all of his efforts and refrain from pointing out the flaws in what he tries to accomplish. Focus only on the good!
_Ask him daily if there is any way you can help him accomplish the tasks he needs to get done. Could you pack his gym bag for him as he gets ready to leave for work? It can be simple!
_Respect him at ALL costs. This can be difficult for women because we typically don’t see respect as such a pressing issue but for men, it is how they feel the most loved and most capable. (This is the area I struggle the most in.)
_HAVE FUN! I am sure that you guys love spending time with your husband but we have to be so intentional in doing this. Make a priority to set aside some amount of time together at LEAST once a week even if it means staying up a little later than usual one night or sending your kids outside for 30 minutes and locking the door! We have to keep the fun element in our marriages!
I by NO means have this marriage thing figured out. I am actually really beginning to see just how much I don’t know about my husband and how marriage works. But I am learning. And I love him. But even more so I love GOD and I want to honor GOD in my marriage so I will do everything His word instructs me to do in order to love GOD well, and serve my husband.
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Do I really?
I think I do because I grew up in church. I think I do because I’ve read a lot of books about Him. I think I do because I know some verses. I think I do because I went to a lot of church camps. I think I do because people always tell me I have a lot of wisdom for my age. I think I do based off a lot of things that have to do with me and what I have done or what I have learned. So, do I really know Him?
All of what I said above is true but when I sit back and think about GOD and his GREATNESS I am completely overwhelmed. We can attend all of these camps and conferences and read all of the books and take all the notes and never truly even know GOD. We have so much information at our fingertips ready for us to search out and fill our brains with.
I have come to find that the best knowledge is the simple knowledge of who GOD is and what He wants to do. When we are able to get to the attributes of GOD and really learn about Him, as best our carnal minds can comprehend, we begin to see everything else in life from the right perspective.
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.“ Proverbs 9:10
I don’t think GOD made a mistake when He purposed for that to be in The Bible. GOD knows that we need knowledge of who He is.
Not only what He is capable of doing, but His very essence.
GOD is one being, made of 3 parts… The Trinity. He is self-existent and needs no person or thing to exist. He is self-sufficient and needs no person or anything else to do what He wants to do either. He is eternal. GOD is infinite, never ending. He is immutable, divinely omniscient, and the definition of wisdom. GOD is omnipotent and divinely transcendent above all. He is faithful and good and just. He is abounding in mercy and grace and love. GOD is HOLY and sovereign.
The depth and knowledge of each of the attributes of GOD will take us further in our life than any worship song from Bethel or any sermon preached by Steven Furtick.
Those attributes make the gospel so much more full of flavor than any man made idea or “At The Movies” sermon could EVER accomplish. The fact that a GOD like that would do what He did, so he could have ME in heaven with Him for all of eternity, absolutely blows my mind.
To think rightly of GOD is to get your mind thinking rightly about E V E R Y T H I N G else in life. I can’t possibly think right about a single area of life if I have even one attribute missing or if I have learned about GOD wrongly. I have got to find out who GOD is. I need to find out what all of those attributes are. I promise you there are no greater riches in life to be found than to find the richness of GOD.
He is waiting for me, and He is waiting for you.
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