If you are a mom you know that pregnancy really throws you for a loop, ESPECIALLY the first time around. But even the second time around, everything changes!
The journey starts for everyone a little differently. Some people are like me the first time and unexpectedly get pregnant. This can be exciting, or scary, or both. Some people have to work really hard at getting pregnant and have so much anxiety over it that they have trouble sleeping at night. I know women who have literally gone through the process of in vitro by personally inserting a good friends semen because she wanted children so badly and couldn’t afford to actually have it done. Don’t place judgment on her, it was successful and she is an amazing mother. Some of you have tried and succeeded only to find yourself shattered because your pregnancy ended way too early. My heart goes out to you, sincerely. We all hear these stories, right?
So, now you are pregnant!
You get all excited and jittery and nervous and anxious and “all of the feels”. You dream about your baby. You also despise them at times because you can’t go 30 minutes without a bathroom break or wanting to sleep or vomit. But then the emotions come back and you decide you love them regardless. You can’t stand your husband for breathing too heavy one minute and then you love him more than yesterday for smiling at you when he walked in the room. You get to have baby showers and wear comfortable clothes without judgment. You don’t feel the need to wear makeup every day and you get a little more relaxed on your diet. SUPER fun times!
My birthing experience this time around was amazing. I had a great doctor, great nurses, and we loved our hospital stay. My labor was all day long but I wasn’t in pain for any of it (thank you epidural) and the pushing was literally only 7 minutes. But again, I want to get to the aftermath.
When you finally come home again with “all of the feels”. You are so excited and happy and exhausted at the same time. You are once again madly in love with your husband beyond what you were two days earlier and he is basically your superhero. Watching my husband fall in love with our daughter has been one of the most amazing things I’ve ever gotten to experience. He is an amazing daddy! What follows those first few days home is different for everyone.
You have mood swings. If you are breastfeeding you’re most likely up every 2 hours in the night either feeding or pumping. If your daughter is like mine you are changing poopy diapers multiple times during each feeding. You basically snack all day because there isn’t a lot of time for cooking or actual meals. If you have family members that have passed, you mourn them all over again for an entirely new reason. Then a couple weeks go by and you seem to have forgotten everything you knew from the first time you had a child or if you read books you realize that your brain absorbed about one percent of the information you read. My first is 8.5 years old so give me a break! I basically remember she needed to eat and she would sleep a lot at first. So then I had to relearn that babies have growth spurts like every two weeks and every time we start a new one I don’t even realize that’s probably why my little angel has turned into a demon until we are already almost out of it. Shots also make them crazy, but not the day of… no. This madness starts a day or two later and lasts 2-3 days. I never knew breastfed babies can literally go 2 weeks without pooping as long as they are having wet diapers so I went into panic thinking she was constipated. Breastmilk is absorbed easier than formula.
Apparently they can still drink it, but some babies won’t. I don’t blame them! Who wants to drink soap? Breastfeeding for sure shrinks your uterus faster so I suggest doing it even for a little while for your own self image! Sound selfish? Maybe. But it’s hard to feel good about your body after a baby. You also don’t need to consume EXTRA calories while breastfeeding but you definitely need to consume more liquid. One day you will think, “Oh, Yeah! I’m feeling back to normal!” And the next you will be bawling in the shower literally for no reason at all. Another tip, just because you are breastfeeding doesn’t mean your baby won’t take a bottle. If you vaccinate your child, good for you! If you don’t, good for you! If you breastfeed in public, awesome! If you don’t, that’s okay! Everyone feels differently and has learned different things. We are honestly all just trying to do our best to figure out ourselves and our children. Every person will take a few different turns than I do, and that’s great for them! At some point, I may need them to teach me what they’ve done so I can try it.
For all the people who are wanting to be moms, are currently pregnant, are new at the mom game, or you are a seasoned vet… Do your thing!
And please, share your aftermath stories. We all need the encouragement and we all need to be informed so we can do our best at making decisions or trying things to help ourselves heal and enjoy our babies, our children and our adult children.